Positive Parenting and Behavior Strategies

Positive rewards help children understand which behaviors should be repeated. Parents should recognize good choices immediately and clearly explain what the child did well. Rewards should be earned through kindness, cooperation, respectful behavior, following directions, using gentle hands, practicing good manners, being polite, and showing self-control. Parents should remain consistent, give the reward that was promised, and avoid offering rewards to stop whining, tantrums, or inappropriate behavior. The goal is to encourage positive habits while helping children feel proud of making good choices.

• Specific praise: “You used such gentle hands.”
• Verbal encouragement: “You worked very hard on that.”
• Hugs, high-fives, fist bumps, or a special handshake
• Smiles and enthusiastic attention
• Stickers 
• Sticker charts
• Behavior chart
• Good-choice tickets or tokens
• Home treasure box
• Pom-poms, marbles, or beads added to a reward jar
• Choosing a favorite book
• Choosing the family game or activity
• Extra one-on-one time with a parent
• Helping prepare a snack or meal
• Choosing the music in the car
• Picking the bedtime story
• Staying up 10–15 minutes later for a special activity
• A trip to the park or playground
• Extra outdoor playtime
• A special art, baking, or science activity
• Choosing what the family has for dinner from approved options
• Being the “special helper” for the day
• Earning a small privilege
• A handwritten praise note
• A phone call or message to a loved one celebrating the child’s good choice
• Displaying the child’s artwork or accomplishment
• Adding a star to a kindness chart
• A “caught being kind” surprise
• Choosing the movie for "Family Movie Night"
• Earning time with a favorite toy or activity
• Ten Minutes of Technology (use a visual timer)
• Celebrating progress with a happy dance or cheer

The most effective praise is immediate and specific. Instead of saying only, “Good job,” say, “I noticed that you waited patiently for your turn. That was very respectful.”

• A toy is put away or put up high when it is thrown, broken, or used improperly.
• Technology time is shortened or removed for the day.
• The child loses a preferred privilege, such as choosing the movie, dessert, or activity.
• The child takes a brief calm-down break near an adult.
• The child must complete the requested task before moving on to a preferred activity.
• The child helps clean up a mess they intentionally made.
• The child repairs, replaces, or helps care for something they damaged.
• The child loses the opportunity to choose the next activity.
• The child sits beside the parent during an outing if they are not following directions.
• The family leaves the park, store, restaurant, party,  or activity when behavior becomes disruptive, inappropriate, disrespectful, or unsafe.
• The child pauses play until they are calm and ready to follow expectations.
• The child practices the correct behavior before returning to the activity.
• The child is removed from an activity when they cannot participate appropriately.
• A favorite item is placed out of reach for a reasonable amount of time.
• The child loses access to materials that are being misused.
• The child completes a responsibility before receiving a reward or privilege.
• The child loses a privilege or a toy goes up high when an established rule is deliberately ignored.
• Bedtime begins earlier when poor choices have delayed the evening routine.
• The child must use a respectful voice before the conversation or request continues.
• Whining does not result in receiving the requested item or activity.
• A request is not granted until the child asks appropriately.
• The child must return an item they took without permission.
• The child loses a treat or special privilege when established rules are deliberately ignored.
• The child stays close to the parent if they run away or refuse to remain nearby.
• The child holds the parent’s hand when they cannot walk safely or follow directions.
• The child is separated from other children after hitting, scratching, biting, kicking, or pushing.
• Play immediately stops when the child hurts someone.
• The child checks on the person they hurt and participates in making amends.
• The child practices using gentle hands, kind words, or asking for a turn.
• Unsafe or aggressive behavior results in the loss of the activity, toy, or privilege.
• The child apologizes after being disrespectful or saying unkind words to another child or adult.
• The child must ask again using a calm and respectful voice.
• Whining, yelling, or demanding does not result in receiving the requested item.
• The child waits longer for something when they refuse to ask appropriately.
• Repeated refusal results in fewer choices: “You may do it yourself, or I will help you.”
• A stated consequence is followed through without repeated warnings, arguing, bargaining, negotiation, or repeated warnings.
• Play pauses until the child is calm and ready to follow the rules.
• A natural consequence is allowed when it is safe to do so, such as a toy not being available after the child refuses to put it away.

When possible, consequences should be immediate and related to the behavior . The goal is to teach children responsibility, self-control, and understanding that their choices have predictable and undesirable outcomes.